How I’m Coping Through the Sh*ttiest Winter Ever

Well let’s start off with, I’m not coping very well at all.

I have some really really hard days wondering if we are going to make it, asking God why we are here when I just had a nice conversation with him 6 months ago about how I was going to get a handle on our finances (for real this time). But like my psychiatrist pointed out at my last appointment, I haven’t had panic attacks and I’m not in a deep depression – so that has to count for something right??

My husband has an amazing job, with a wage I am truly grateful for. He makes about $55/hr (if you’re unaware, we are not shy about the topic of money over here, whether that be how much we make or how much we spend or even how much we owe to “the big guys”) but he is also in construction.. so when it’s sopping wet and storming outside he makes $0/hr.

In the last 3 months he has probably worked about a total of 4 weeks, if even that. So to say we are taking a beating this winter is an understatement.

Luckily, I decided to start on our new financial journey last September, so we were stuffing money into our HYSA (High Yield Savings Account) for about 3 months, maybe a little less, before winter hit. (thank you Tori Dunlap for that advice!)

We had luckily saved up about $12,000, but now we’re coming into March and praying for a light at the end of this long, cold, wet and dark tunnel.

Our monthly bills are $6,500/month and that’s including about $1,200 budgeted for groceries, which when you’re a family of 5 living in California, that is some bare minimum budgeting. And of course I am also an ingredient conscious mama, so I also like to buy organic and healthier options. (Although we have eaten more Cup of Noodle and Mac n Cheese lately than I would like to admit).

But any who, that $12,000 is now down to about $3,000 which thank the sweet sweet Lord we are still in the 4 figures, but I also didn’t see us using any of that $12,000 as I was putting it away if I’m being honest with you. I thought it would just sit there all pretty after hitting $15,000 (~3 months of savings) and grow its cute little interest while we tackled debt.

So here we are, feeling very behind on our financial game plan.. but let’s also look at the positives that are helping me cope as I wait for this season (literally – come on spring! and figuratively – as in season of life) to pass!

I am so grateful that we had such a great savings. In the past I don’t think we ever had more than a few thousand extra in our account, and it was always mushed together into one account. I never had it in a savings, let alone a HYSA. I truly didn’t even know what that even was up until like 6 months to a year ago.
I am so grateful that my husband gets to be home with us so much. I wish it wasn’t under stressful circumstances, but for the first couple of months it was pretty stress free and just blissful. Due to his line of work, he is out of town a lot, so if we can’t travel with him that week then we go Monday-Friday without seeing him. It’s really really hard (and also our biggest why behind finally taking our finances seriously and figuring something else out).
I trust God. I have been in questionable situations before, but I’ve always come out better in the end! I know there’s lessons we’re learning throughout this process that are going to benefit us and put us so much farther ahead at the end of it. I was just reflecting yesterday on the little tidbits I’ve learned through this crappy winter that I wouldn’t have gained otherwise. He is so so so good.
And finally, my last coping mechanism is knowing it HAS to end lol. Not the prettiest or deepest of the other ones, but very effective none the less. Like this will end, one way or another!

I just wanted to share all of this because I feel like so many times you hear “I wanted to change. I changed. Everything is perfect now!” and that it. We don’t hear about the moments in between. So then, when we’re on our own journey and it’s not rainbows and sunshine, we feel like failures.

Well I like to think this is not me becoming a total failure lol. And I know if you’re having a low moment or things aren’t going quite how you planned, you’re not a failure either.

We just gotta make the best of what we got right now, do some extra inner work, and trust God in the process.

I once heard something like, you have to trust God before you even see it happen. You have to show him that you are happy with where you are at, in the moment he has you in. You can still want more, you can still ask for more, but don’t lose your gratitude, do not lose yourself by idolizing other things. Have a grateful heart always.

We are going to be fine, stop being so dramatic. Love you!

– S

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20