1/13/24
Do you ever feel a day wasting away. It’s a day full of nothing. Everything keeps going on around you but you feel like you’re stuck in some black hole, same weird vortex where even though everything is moving around you, you’re not moving at all. You’re just waiting.
A day where you feel nothing . You’re empty. Your chest is empty. Your feelings are empty. Your head is empty. It’s all just empty – blank – nothing. You’re just waiting.
I can’t stand these days. I try to find a way to make them mean more. A way to make them to where I can look back and be hoary with something about it, anything really, instead of being sad it was a waste.
I would much rather have a day where I feel something.
Instead I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Frozen. Like I’m waiting to find out if tomorrow will be good or if it will be bad.
Instead of making today good. Making everyday good.
I have the power over my days being good and bad don’t I?
So why do I waste it walking on eggshells.
I hate eggshells.
dear diary
